Why English Scholars Rule the World

by Anonymous UNT Student

Every day I am reminded how stupid the world can really be, especially those of us who are not English Scholars!!!!!! (Punctuation Error)

Let me tell you why! I have an English 4180 Technical Writing class. The first day was great, until the teacher realized she was dealing with a bunch of Biology majors. Her heart dropped! So did mine. Because at that moment, I realized I was nothing compared to an English scholar. I was a loser because my grammar would suck and my choice of words would be too wordy for the average reader, and I would use run on sentences just to prove a point that I could sum up in maybe just three words.

By not being an English scholar, when it comes to writing papers, I will make the wrong decisions about punctuation, word choice, tense, and even the setting of my margins. But in this world of a bunch of illiterate fools who don’t understand the confounds of the English language, we are forced to learn from English men who strive to tell why this sentence doesn’t make sense or why we should not use a preposition at the beginning of a sentence or a dangling modifier in place of an action verb. (I am not even sure if that is right.)

To be honest, I will never understand any of this. That’s why I believe we should salute our English scholars with the Medal of Honor or something, maybe even a Nobel Peace Prize, better yet, an Oscar, because nobody can act like they know the English language better than they or maybe me. These scholars may never receive any of the prestigious awards, but they are great, and that’s why I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely, the Punctuation Error